Ok so uni degrees don't mean as much as they made out in Dilsen, but for all my complaining, man am I glad I got mine. Will it get me higher up the social ladder, in some peoples eyes maybe. Will it get me a better job, in the long run probably not, but man am I glad I put in the minimal effort to actually get my masters. Especially because I got my kandidatuur before they were willing to acknowledge it as the same as a bachelors.
So Kroe:
Even though you seem to not have heard me, I have actually stated my opinion on you giving up on your Masters. By all means I wont you to feel free, liberated, happy and yes you have accomplished something and have a university degree in your hands. But girl, get that bloody masters degree and get it now. No more procrastinating, no more excuses. Just hand that damn thesis in get crappy marks for it, if it is really that bad, which I doubt it is, I get it over and done with. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2 comments:
Honey,
The point is that with me, it requires more,devestatingly more than 'minimal effort'. It makes me go all depressed, anorexic and suicidal. Unfortunately I'm not exaggerating. I don't like putting things this bluntly, but if that's what it takes to make you see my point more clearly, Leasle dear, then, there you go.
I don't mind the end product that is failure as much as one might think, but the experience of on-going failing -mostly failing people who think unbearably highly of me- ... well, it has finally sunk into that thick head of mine, that, for now at least, I can't handle it. I honestly can't.
Am I intelligent enough to have a master's degree? No doubt about it.
But in case you didn't realise, being terribly intelligent is not all it takes. Not even close. And it turns out that, at 25 at least, I'm found lacking in all other departments.
Have I not tried hard enough, then? It's obvious that that's the popular take on the matter.
Here's the one that matters most - mine: I tried too hard, at the expense of all else. That's why I've managed to come this close, in the first place. And all this getting closer and closer accomplished, was to make me experience more and more pressure to deliver.
The effects of that on me, the person you love and wish to be happy, were somewhat worrisome, in the end - don't you think?
Let's put it this way: have I given you or anyone else any rational reason to believe that I will succeed at doing what must be done, next time a deadline draws near? No, I haven't. Because, as yet, I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!
I'd love to work on it, by getting my self-belief up in full flight mode and getting rid of my fear of failure once and for all.
Somehow, I don't see how setting myself up for more instant failure is gonna accomplish that.
Maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one?
Love xxx
PS If your degree doesn't do any of the things you mention, than what the hell does it do for you? Just curious... A
Leasle,
It just occurred to me... I did hear you well enough, the first time round. Hence, the comment to your first related post, and the long rant afterwards. I think you've misread that part a little, due to my punctuational typo.
What I'd intended was a list of different people and different groups of people opposed to my perspective. If there is any overlap between the individuals listed and the groups mentioned, then it's between S and the shitty-society bemoaning lot.
If anything, I mentioned you and Sara individually because you two have been my most vocal opposers. It's my other girl friends who seem to be terribly afraid to say anything at all on topic.
Turns out the only one who really seems to "get" it, was the one I was perhaps most afraid - and yet the first- to tell it to.
(Ok, the superlative is probably a slight exaggeration as there's no-one more awe-inspiring (awe in the literal sense)to me than Ms. Vardaka, and then, there's my boy D. who actually has a stake in the matter, but whom I confronted as fast as I could (as fast as I'd laid down my pen and decided against physical violence towards myself, that is), but you get my drift.)
Overall, I think I'm about ready to let go of the whole affair.
Enough bickering, enough defending and explaning myself. My actions, my consequences.
Friends, I've come to realise, are like children: even if you (think you) know better, you have to let them make their own mistakes.
Oh, and be sure to let them know you still love them, if and when a bout of bickering has unsuccessfully been avoided (you know, just in case they're struggling headcases with self-esteem issues).
Axxx
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