Kroe: Homo Procrastinatus gives way to Homo Scribens et Ludens

To be Anna, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler within academia to suffer
The slings and arrows of my outrageous procrastinating disposition,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To fail: to weep;
No more; and by a slash o’the wrist to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural disappointments
The Arampatzis flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To fail, to weep;
To stubbornly proceed: perchance, at long-last, to succeed: ay, there's the rub;
For in that success what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this awful coil
Of dimwitted convention & careless expectation,
Must give us peace

But would it really give me peace of mind, to get that damned degree, after so much life-delaying and depression?

I have decided that, though I've once again failed to meet my deadlines and other expectations, that it's about time I started living. And so, I have.

I have a wonderful job, I am again reading and writing for my own fulfillment and I've never felt freer in my life.

I caught myself writing in my diary, the other day: I finally feel young, and starting out in life. That is, as opposed to my sentiments of the past few years, when I was in fact younger, but seemed to carry the hopes and dreams of a bunch of other people, and communities to boot, in my knapsack. Shakespeare really was on to something when he wrote "No more".

On the 1st of August, when I realised it wasn't going to happen... I took a decision, after the initial heart-ache and drama, of course:

This is my turn to live and dream, and try to carry out my dreams, while really, lovingly, and freely ... living.

A humble Hamlet no more,

I leave you (for now)

Love

Axxx

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Re-reading this entry, I am reminded of a band, and a song, worthy of the generally stellar musical references this blog boasts:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=tclhdK6vfyo

Eels' Hey man (now you're really living)